Many people are in a relationship but do not know basic behavior rules of communication and intimacy to really make it work. They keep on damaging their relationship in many ways such as going to bed without speaking, blaming each other constantly, and criticizing each other and basically treat their partner as if they are their worse enemy. The sad thing they are not aware of the damage and accumulating damage.
Couples who understand and realize that their relationship is at stake and aware of their condition and have the will to save it, should consider therapy or some kind of counseling in order to identify the problematic patterns and develop a proper way to react in stressful situations for example when feeling of anger are evoked.
When people feel anger or frustrated they tend to react impulsively, just what comes up to their minds without thinking of the implications and the results. In a close relationship it is really problematic and can damage the relationship beyond repair. Being hurt is not justifying hurting the other person by saying what ever we feel like at the same moment.
Couples therapy allows us to look at the chain of events that led to our feelings and autopilots reactions that can ruin so many good things. We should ask our selves whether our anger ensued from what moment happened at the moment of the fight or is their reason that we or not aware of it. Do we really want to make the other change something concrete or do want to hurt him/her and just “teach them a lesson”.
Many people are not aware to what extent their behavior contributes to the ruining of the relationship and they tend to think that everything is repairable but the truth is that sometimes the estrangement is so deep that they can not repair so realizing your patterns and the way they impact the relationship can be a half way towards a healthier relationship.
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